The Red Shift

I was talking to an A1C today. His demeanor struck me as odd for an A1C. So, I asked him when he came into the military. Apparently, he's been in the Air Force longer than I have. At first, I chalked it up to the fact that I started as an A1C. Maybe he hasn't reached Senior Airman yet. But then I thought about it. He's already hit his three-year mark. Then, I understood; he'd been demoted at some point.

I asked him what he'd been demoted for. Underage drinking was the answer. That didn't seem so bad to me, and I said so. "That's pretty common. I think it's unfair that they rush right into taking a stripe." His response caught me off guard a little. "Well, the first time wasn't a demotion. The second one was, though."

Wait... The second one? As in, you didn't get the hint after the first one? Let's follow the logic, here: I perform an illegal act, knowing that it's illegal. I, logically, get caught. So, I am warned that performing that act again will carry a consequence. Do I then go and perform the illegal act again, expecting not to get caught? Absolutely not.

I believe that one definition of insanity is performing the same action on multiple occasions, and expecting different outcomes for each one. If you did something, and you got caught for it, why would you expect not to get caught the second time? Hell, even a dog can understand that one. Just look at Pavlov. If dogs can figure this shit out, why can't us intelligent human beings? If I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar as a kid, I got my hand hit. Cookie jar equals pain. Pretty freaking simple. Let's fast forward. If I get caught drinking underage, I lose rank, and therefore money. Underage drinking equals less money.

If that's not a damn motivator, then I don't know WHAT is. Idiots.

To start with, a CDMT does this: They get a hard drive from me. They boot up that hard drive in a computer.

That's it. If something goes wrong, they tell me. I figure out what's wrong, fix it, and give it back to them to try again. So, in short, they boot up a computer. There's a few buttons to push along the way, but that's their job.

I want someone to explain this to me: Why is an two-striper CDMT coming to me after having problems with the software kit that I made for him, and telling me what I need to do to fix it. Let's recap... I've been a computer programmer for years and years. More than half my life, actually. I started writing code when I was eight fucking years old, no lie. And as for this specific job, I've been doing since March of 2005. And this punk comes into MY office, and starts off the conversation thusly: "Your shit's fucked up. It shouldn't do X. It should do Y. You need to fix it."

Let's think on this... He's an A1C. How long has he been doing his job? Not long. Definitely not long enough to qualify as an expert. He probably went to basic training after I completed UPGRADE training. Hell, I'm trained in HIS job. I've probably been doing HIS job longer than he has. I have to, because I have to know his job to test the stuff I make in my job. And then there's the amount of time that fliers spend in tech school. So, he's probably been doing this a few months, at most. So I sit there calmly, and I try to explain to him what's going on, and why it's doing what it's doing. And this little fucker just sits there and interrupts me, again and again and again. So naturally, I get pretty pissed off.

Him: "Well, whatever dude, all I know is that it's always done this, and you screwed it up."
Me: "Okay, 'dude,' first of all, my name's not fuckin' 'dude.' Get it right. Second of all, when you walk into this office, you're at my fucking mercy, because I'm an angry man to start with. Pushing my shit is a bad idea. So leave your fucking attitude on the other side of that door, or keep your ass out of my fucking space. Third, what the FUCK do you know about what it should and should not do? I've probably been testing this software and doing YOUR job since before you learned how to say 'Sir, Trainee Dipshit reports as ordered.' So, from now on, what I need from you is a nice, simple, complete explanation of everything that it did. Not what you think it did wrong, not what you think it did right. I don't give a shit what you think. I care about what it did and did not do. You tell me that, no more, no less. And then I will tell YOU what I think is wrong with it. As far as how to fix it, that doesn't even concern you, so at that point, carry your ass. Good night."

Been a bit of a week for me. I've been studying for my promotion test rather heavily. That PDG Gold software makes it extremely easy to study and test yourself. Instead of just inundating you with paragraph after paragraph of text, like the PDG itself, it gives it to you in notecard form. One little bit at a time, and then quizzes the hell out of you. My kind of study format, honestly. My book of Shinto prayers finally got here, so that helps me to calm my mind and meditate in the morning and evening.

My poor wife, though... She's been to the ER. I'm worried out of my head about her. She's been throwing up, in pain, all manner of things... And no one knows what, exactly, is wrong with her just yet. When she went to the ER, they assumed instantly that she was pregnant. Two problems: First, I haven't been there in a month and a half. Second, I know with every fibre of my being that my wife is faithful to me. So, pregnancy is simply not a possibility. But since they were SO convinced, they did a pregnancy test anyway. And guess what? It came back negative. Could have told you that and saved you the trouble of a test. Since that didn't pan out, they wrote it off as a stomach virus, gave her some pills, and sent her on her way. She feels no better now than she did then. So, if she does have to go back for another ER visit, she's going to a different ER. A friend of mine said that the symptoms are indicative of a severe stomach ulcer. With how much my lovely wife worries her ass off about just about EVERYTHING, that wouldn't surprise me in the least. Love ya, hon.

You ever have that time when you're just full of disconnected thoughts? Yeah, that's me. I do that a lot. And now, you get to share.

Ever get that feeling when you just KNOW you're on your way to getting sick? I'm there, right now. My appetite starts to wane, my neck gets stiff, and just bleh. I'm not sick yet, but I can feel the odd sort of deep-seated headache trying to start, and the sore throat...

I ordered a copy of PDG Gold a couple of days ago. It'll take a while to get here, but it should definitely give me a help as far as studying for my promotion test next Spring. I work with an NCO who swears by it, and a bunch of other people have recommended it, so why not? I figure the cost of the software is definitely a good investment in my career.

The stock market is definitely behaving oddly lately. The economy is in a little bit of a slide right now, regardless of what certain officers may want to think... "The stock market's doing GREAT! It's been flying for months, now." "Uhhh, no... If it was, why would the government be worried about it?" "Who says they're worried about it?" Next day, they drop the interest rate by half a point. I hate it when people argue with me about shit they know nothing about. This is the same one that tried using "I went to college!" as a point in a debate. Even right now, the market's slightly down. Oi. My mutual funds are doing well, though. Three total, two in the black. Two of them I just bought in to a day or two ago, though, so I don't count those in my performance analysis.

I've been griping to the NCO that I work with. I have this issue about where I work back at home station... Specifically, my unit. We are, it seems, the most un-military unit in the US military. We have little structure or regimen. People are rampantly disrespectful and have no concept of professionalism. I am a Senior Airman, E-4. In every other branch of the military, that pay grade is considered a noncommissioned officer. Not in the Air Force, though. There is an Airman, E-2, in my office that has this odd inability to show up for work on time. I made a mention of this to him one day, not in front of anyone else, just the two of us. It went like this: "Hey, man... I live off-base, X distance away. I can make it to work on time. You live on base in the dorms. Why can't you?" "Man, I don't need this shit from you!" I brought it up to the leadership in my flight. The response: "It's not your problem, he's not your troop. Stay in your lane." ... Stay in my lane, huh? Just shovel all the problems under the rug, is that it? At that moment, I understood all of the stupidity in the unit. Simply this: No one cares enough to do anything about it.

Well, that's about it for now. Thanks.

I got into a rather heated discussion today with someone I work with. The discussion was about homosexuality.

I have a number of very good friends who are homosexual. As such, I have absolutely no problems with it. They're people as much as the rest of us, and are entitled to seek their happiness in whatever way they please. The other participant in this discussion believes in doing it the way they do in his home town.

Apparently, there is a park that is rather notorious. Why? Because gay college students like to go there at night and indulge themselves. It's something of a tradition in his home town to get a bunch of guys together, drive to that park, find a couple, and beat them senseless with golf clubs and baseball bats. Why? For the sheer enjoyment of it, I suppose.

Am I the only one who finds that sort of thing to be utterly despicable? Personally, if I was walking through a park at night, and I came upon a group of men beating someone up with baseball bats and golf clubs, they would quickly wind up as a very dead group of men. I believe in the Second Amendment, people, and that's one reason.

He tried to justify that sort of behavior by stating, "I wouldn't want my kids to walk into a park and see that shit." Oh, so having your kids walk into a park and see their father beating some poor guy with a baseball bat is a better alternative? "I'm cleaning up society. They spread disease..." Et cetera. In my humble opinion, society would be better served by locking up every violent, sociopathic homophobe, and throwing away the key.

My final comment to him was something along the lines of, "That's not societal control. That's not greater good. That's a bunch of dumb fucking rednecks getting their fun out of beating the shit out of helpless people. That's fucking disgusting and despicable, and I hope they all end up shot."

After reading over this, I've realized that nothing I can put to the metaphorical paper can equal the raw vehement rage I felt at knowing that there were people out there who felt that that sort of horror and utter desecration of humanity is acceptable.

Show us a gadget that's on your wish list.

Blackberry Pearl. I am a huge nerd, and I love my toys. This is the next item that will be added to my repertoire.

Blackberry-pearl-white

My previous attempt at this came out sounding like a textbook. That ain't me. Let's try this again.

I've been exposed to a good number of religions, spiritualities, and faiths in my life. I've also taken the time out to study quite a few of them as much as I could.

The first faith that I had ever really known at all was Christianity, which I suppose could be considered typical for a kid raised in New England. I went to a Christian school for about nine years or so, so up until about age 15, I was inundated with it. When I was too young to really think on it for myself, it was easy for me to accept. After all, it was presented to me as truth, as unequivocally truthful as mathematics and science. But as I grew older, I started to grow a little more analytical. I guess that was inevitable, given my propensity towards analytical things, like math, science, and especially computers. The more I thought about everything, thought about what I was taught, what was said, how people acted, and what was expected, the more I started to see inexplicable contradictions and, in general, things that just didn't add up. There was something else as well that started to push me away from Christianity. It just didn't 'feel' right, to me. It wasn't something that ever really made me feel comfortable. After I left the environment of religion through education, I felt a little more free to explore my spiritual beliefs, and come to what I felt was true to who I was.

For as long as I can remember, I've been interested in theology, in a strictly objective, scholarly sense. As such, I've read religious texts of quite a few kinds. I've read translations of the Torah and the Talmud, as well as the Qur'an. I've studied principles and precepts of other religions, Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism. I've even studied a few of the Native American tribal faiths. And still, there was nothing that quite spelled out what I felt. And then, one caught my eye.

Shinto is a Japanese spirituality that stems back for thousands of years. It started around the middle of the fourth century B.C. In a nutshell, the Shinto faith believes that everything in creation, living or otherwise, is possessed of its own innate spirit. These spirits are called kami. Animals, people, trees, mountains, rivers, even the world itself. Each one has a soul all its own. There are also kami that exist without physical form, simply as their own souls. There is no spirit held in higher regard than another, because we're all part and parcel of the same creation. In effect, all of creation is the embodiment of the divine, everything is sacred. As you can expect from that, Shinto holds nature to be very important. Human beings are descendants of kami, so we are, at our core, as pure and radiant as any other spirit in the world. Through the course of our lives, we gather impurities. Impurities aren't the sort of judgmental aspect that the word "sin" hints at. Instead, they're things that hinder peace of mind, and good fortune. The Shinto way is to hold a mindset of humility and gratitude for everything. If I eat a meal, I express gratitude to the animals and plants that had to perish to make the meal, as well as to the maker of the meal. If I kill in war, I kill only so that my life and the lives of others may continue. The nature of Shinto is to live your life, and hold your mind, in a such a way as to create as little impurity as possible. For those impurities that are unavoidable, one cleanses of them so that they don't hinder our connection to others, and to nature. I guess, to sum it all up, it's a way of life that emphasizes harmony with family, neighbors, nature, and the kami of everything around you.

That's pretty what I've felt all my life. This is what I'm comfortable with, and what fulfills me, spiritually.

A few topics came up today that I'd like to talk about, from my own viewpoint.

The first is the ongoing controversies surrounding Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad.

Lately, President Ahmedinejad had expressed desires to visit New York City during the proceedings on September 11th. Understandably, this angered and incensed a great many people, but I believe for the wrong reasons.

Iran, and President Ahmedinejad in particular, have long been painted as state sponsors of terrorism, as well as supplying Iraqi insurgents and terrorists with weapons technology and financial support. Also under critical eye is Iran's pursuit of nuclear technology, technology that they claim will only be used for scientific and commercial enterprises, such as the civilian production of electricity. By President Ahmedinejad's own admission, Iran has no need or want for nuclear weaponry, an admission that has repeatedly fallen on deaf ears in Washington. President Bush labelled Iran as part of his "Axis of Evil" in the Middle East.

I have a singular issue with the way Iran, and President Ahmedinejad, have been treated by the Bush Administration, and by the American public. Lately, in an interview with CBS' "60 Minutes," President Ahmedinejad was repeatedly interrogated and blatantly insulted by the interviewer. Surprisingly, President Ahmedinejad displayed remarkable, almost monk-like patience with the interviewer, suffering every question even with a smile. Have the American people truly become so hateful and spiteful that we would go out of our way to offend a head of state in his own country? Regardless of the opinions of President Ahmedinejad, we should be the better men and display the respect that he is due as the elected head of his nation.

Iran had nothing to do with the events of September 11th. No information available supports the notion that Iran has supported terrorism in Iraq. Statements made by President Ahmedinejad indicate that he has a greater respect and notion of individual rights than even our own President, criticising President Bush for the treatment of prisoners at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay, as well as the allowance and unconstitutional support of warantless wiretappings of American citizens and the curtailment of freedoms and rights guaranteed by precedents of jurisprudence and the very Constitution itself.

Why then do we seem to display such hatred for the nation of Iran, and those that stand for it? I believe that it comes down solely to this: religion. We in the United States have come to hate Muslims so much that, in our minds, there is an automatic and indelible link between Islam and terrorism. One instantly makes us think of the other, much to the detriment of those who peacefully and happily find spiritual completion in Islam. I pray, for all our sakes, that we learn to be as tolerant of others as our founding fathers wanted us to be. Indeed, that is why this nation was founded.

Now, I come to a lighter, more personal note.

Whatever happened to males being masculine? Please don't mistake this comment for sexism, because it's hardly intended to be that.

I was looking around online, today, for something as innocuous as a new hairstyle. I've grown tired of the high-and-tight that I've been sporting for years, now. I'd like something with a little more character, individuality, and that "personal" touch. But the more I looked around, the more I realized that men's hairstyles had grown into a morass of attempted, failed femininity. I've got nothing against men with long hair; My father's been sporting a ponytail for as long as I can recall. But hair-dyed-black, near-permed, gelled to utter stupidity?

Come on now, people. Stop trying to look like a teenager having a high-school emo crisis phase. Mohawks, designs shaved into heads, multicolored hair... Highlights are fine, I used to have them myself. I'm talking about the pink, purple, and green monstrosities that I see walking around. Hell, there was someone with a blue tipped spike mohawk. The first thing that came to my mind was, "I remember popsicles like that when I was a kid..." If anyone has a good idea for a haircut that I can do a little bit of styling with, and remain inside the boundaries of military regulations, feel free to lend a suggestion.

For my next trick... A couple of friends of mine tried to set up their friend on a date. The problem: The date was a pilot.

I am the webmaster of a comic that specifically makes fun of pilots. Now, pilots can't possibly be as sexist and offensive as a comic would make them out to be, can they? Apparently, they can. The pilot even ended up in his own strip, this time around.

I won't pretend to be anything resembling knowledgable when it comes to how to treat a woman. I myself have no earthly idea how I ended up married to the wonderful woman that I have now. She even took the time to track ME down, after being out of touch for a year and a half, and express her feelings for me. What did I do to deserve that? What did I do, what did I say, to leave that lasting a mark, that she would love me after knowing me for over four years, with no hint of my feelings for her? I've spent the better part of a year pondering that question, and I'm no closer to an answer than I was then.

But I can say that insulting a girl's friends is definitely no way to win her heart. You don't need experience to say that; Only common sense. Apparently, this guy was lacking.

Girls, what would you say to a guy that says to you, "You're not married, you only have that on paper," as if you're lying about being married for some other reason or goal? I'd expect you to slap him three ways from Sunday.

Guys, don't ever say dumb shit like that to a woman, because if she slaps you three ways from Sunday, remember: I told her to.

We've been having some technical issues at work. Admittedly, these issues stem from a lack of expertise on my part, and it got compounded into a huge issue that, so far, hasn't had a fix. That's bad, and I've been busting my ass to fix it. I just worked a 24-hour shift trying to fix it.

I can take the ribbing from the crews, that's fine. I know they mean it lightheartedly, and as much of a pain as it is for everyone, they know that I'm doing the best I can with limited resources.

What I can't take is having someone in my chain of command, someone that knows how much this is bugging me, and how hard I've been working, call me a liar. When you take something that was an accident and something that's being rectified, and make it personal, that's crossing the line. Now, I will say this: I know he's taking a lot of flak for this problem, and he's under a hell of a lot of stress. Just, please... Try and keep things friendly. I don't react well to accusations and hostility, and I'm trying to keep in mind how much stress everyone is under, but I'm not good at reining in my temper. The last thing I want to do is snap at this guy. He's a good guy, I know he is, because I've worked with him before. He's a gung-ho go-getter. Epitomy of Type A Personality. His heart and mind are in the right places. To be honest, I can't say that I'd react much differently than he has... But I wouldn't call someone a liar. Like I said, that's taking something that's not personal, and making it personal.

Conversely, I do have a propensity to take things more personally than they were meant, and it's totally possible that I'm doing that in this case as well. "I don't believe you!" sounds pretty personal to me.

Ever since I was 15, when I decided that I was going to join the Air Force, I wanted to get my commission, and become an officer. At least, up until I actually joined the military, and got to my first operational unit. It was at that point that I said, "To hell with a commission. I'd rather be enlisted."

Why? A few reasons.

First, those who know me know that I am extremely hands-on when it comes to my work. I don't like leaving for other people things that I can just as easily do myself, and do better. That said, an officer doesn't really do hands-on work. They're managers. Any time I've ever seen an officer try and do hands-on work, it resulted in some enlisted guy coming along and fixing what the officer broke.

Second, I am NOT into the politics part of it. Being a commissioned officer is being part of a good-ol'-boys club. Far too much mutual backscratching and defense. I'd rather be that smart-assed Chief that kindly tells a Lieutenant where he can stick his good ideas.

Third, and I'm not sure if this comes with officer training, or if it's just a predisposition to this trait that defines officer material, but the total lack of common sense involved with being an officer just ASTOUNDS me. Now, granted, there are some good officers out there that actually use both halves of their brain, but it's a rarity, at least from where I'm sitting. The discussions, the decisions, they exhibit such an astonishing lack of forethought and overcomplication. It drives me insane. An officer arrives with a problem that has such a simple, obvious solution, and yet they spend the next umpteen hours going over it again, and again, and again. In the end, their solution is so convoluted that they now need to devise a solution to the solution, for the first solution has become just another problem.

Fourth, and this one is usually restricted to Lieutenants and, to a lesser degree, Captains. Majors and above tend to know better, but not in all cases. Prior enlisted officers are exempt from this. This is the propensity to treat all enlisted personnel like they're dumber than a plate of chipped beef. I mean, come on, now. Just because I didn't get a degree doesn't mean that I'm not a very intelligent person. In fact, with probably few exceptions, I am far more intelligent than most of the officers in the military. That is not to say that I can do their job, because I can't. However, I know, for a fact, that I am one of the most technically competent airmen in my unit, because that's what I strive for. When I have to waste time trying to "prove" myself to an officer that should already damn well know better, or when I have to prove, yet again, that their idea sucks and mine is better because I know the system and they don't, it pisses me off.

Moral of the story: I'm an enlisted guy. I'm staying that way. Why? Because I'm proud of it. I don't have the capacity to be an officer, because I'd never be able to put up with my comrades. I'd be the Lieutenant saying to the Captain, "Sir, shut the hell up and let him work. He knows his job better than you ever will, so stop trying to tell him how to do it."